Asher's Blog

Talking about these three topics in one post almost feels impossible, because if I am being honest, most of my life and most of my thinking revolves around them. Sometimes I sit quietly and reflect on how intense my life has become. Not in a dramatic way, but in a very real, layered way that I do not always fully process in the moment.

I got married at 30, just before I turned 31, and became a dad exactly on the day I clocked 33, which in itself felt symbolic, almost like life was marking a new chapter for me. But long before that, I had already started my entrepreneurial journey, building my first business at 17, then Gidijobs at 25, and eventually Eazipay at 31. When I look back at it now, I realise that I never made any of these decisions based on age or some predefined timeline. I was never the kind of person who followed a human clock, where you feel like certain things must happen at certain ages.

I move differently.

I allow myself to be fully convinced before I act, and once that conviction is there, I do not hesitate, regardless of whether the timing looks right to anyone else. That has shaped how I live, how I build, and how I show up in my relationships.

But combining marriage, parenting and entrepreneurship at the same time is one of the most demanding things you can attempt to do well, because each of them, on their own, already requires depth, presence and consistency. When you put all three together, it stretches you in ways you cannot fully prepare for.

The Single Biggest Factor

If there is one thing I have learned so far, it is that the single biggest factor that determines whether this combination works is the kind of partner you have. It cannot be overstated.

Having the right partner does not just help. It removes a significant portion of the burden that would otherwise weigh you down, because you are not just managing responsibilities. You are sharing them with someone who understands, supports and complements you.

A close friend of mine was speaking with me recently, trying to understand how I was coping as a solo founder. I realised in that conversation that although I may not have a co-founder in the business, I am not entirely carrying the weight alone. This friend has stepped in to support me in ways that go beyond tasks, helping with both execution and emotional stability, filling gaps that a co-founder would typically cover.

That experience reinforced something I already believed deeply. If you are going to do these three things at the same time, choosing the right partner in marriage or in friendships or in business is not optional. It is foundational.

What to Look For

If you are trying to determine whether someone is the right person to walk this journey with you, there are certain things worth looking for. Not in theory, but in how they actually show up over time.

1. They should be able to tell you the truth, even when it is uncomfortable, but in a way that does not feel like they are trying to hurt you or gain an advantage over you. Truth, when delivered with the right intention, builds trust instead of breaking it.
2. They should be transparent. Not just in big things, but in the small everyday interactions that define a relationship, because secrecy, even in minor forms, slowly erodes connection, while openness strengthens it.
3. There should be a level of trust in your judgment that allows you to operate freely without constantly needing to defend your decisions, especially when you are already under the pressure of building something.
4. Care should be visible, not assumed. It should show up in kindness, in patience and in a consistent effort to support rather than react, because a tense environment makes an already demanding life even harder.
5. And perhaps one of the most underrated things is that they should genuinely want to share life with you. Not just the good parts, but everything. Where you become the first person they come to with problems, ideas, opportunities and even uncertainties. That level of closeness creates a partnership that can withstand real pressure. Perfect love cast away fear. 

Principles That Have Helped Me

Beyond choosing the right partner, there are certain principles I have found useful in trying to navigate all three areas without completely losing balance.

1. One of them is understanding the natural rhythm of give and take within a home. There are seasons where one person will be extremely busy, stretched thin and deeply focused on work. In those moments, it helps enormously if the other person is relatively more available to stabilise things at home, especially when children are involved. This does not mean imbalance is permanent, but it does mean there is a conscious effort to ensure the burden is not consistently carried by one person. When that happens, it creates gaps that children feel, even if they cannot articulate it.
2. Another important principle is creating space for regular one on one conversations. Not just when there is a problem, but as a routine, because connection should not be reactive. It should be intentional. Communication, in general, has to be elevated. It is not enough to talk when things become obvious. You have to talk about the small things before they become big things. And there is a discipline required where if one person is heightened emotionally, the other deliberately lowers their tone, creating balance in the moment instead of escalation.
3. With children, one of the most important things I have come to value is the act of creating memories. Not just being present physically, but being engaged, playing, laughing and building moments that will stay with them long after the busyness of life fades into the background. If there is anything I would emphasise strongly, it is this: play a lot. Those moments are far more significant than they appear in real time.
4. There is also a need to be intentional about reducing unnecessary tension, which is why I have come to see the importance of minimising snapping and shouting. While it may feel justified in certain moments, it often leaves a longer lasting impact than we realise.
5. Alignment on practical things also matters, especially around work schedules and travel, because clarity in those areas removes avoidable friction and helps both partners plan their roles more effectively.
6. And at the centre of it all, for me, is the spiritual dimension. Praying together. Not as a routine obligation, but as a way to stay aligned, to recalibrate and to remind ourselves that we are not doing life in isolation. There is something about inviting God into the everyday that changes the texture of even the most ordinary moments.

Maybe Balance Is Not the Goal

When I think about all of this together, I realise there is no perfect way to balance marriage, parenting and entrepreneurship. And maybe balance itself is not the right goal. Maybe the goal is alignment. Understanding how to adjust, how to support each other and how to move through different seasons without losing connection.

Because success in one area at the expense of the others does not really feel like success. But if you can build a life where all three are growing, even imperfectly, even messily, then you are doing something that is not just difficult. It is deeply meaningful.